Four Gifts for Diane

Sermon by Rev. Victor Carpenter, May 18, 2008

First Religious Society, Carlisle, Massachusetts

You have “called” your next minister!  And Diane Miller has accepted your call.  In due course you will “settle’  her among you and , together , you will take up the  responsibilies that are part of being a free church.  Thanks be to God.

Such words as “called” and “settled” have very distinct meanings  for fee churches such as this one.  They speak  to shared responsibility for the religious life of this religious community.

I’ve spoken about their meaning before and won’t repeat what I have said     Instead I’m going to speak of  four “gifts” that you , members and friends of the  First Religious Society, Unitarian Universalist  are in a position to give Diane from the moment she crosses your threshold.  Gifts  I urge you to give “in generous measure”   because  the giving   will guarantee  both your growth in understanding of each other and your love for each other.

Gift Number 1:   Show up

Everyone knows the Woody Allen “bon mot’ that  80% of  life is “showing up”.  Not only is it true.  It’s doubly true for  church life.  That means being here, in a pew on Sunday morning;  Sunday after Sunday after Sunday.

Your “showing up” regularly  helps create the community.   Your regular presence  encourages those around you to do the same  and it certainly encourages the preacher.  But that’s just the beginning.

By your regular attendance you will get to know the preacher “intimately”; you will get to know her homiletic “down-sitting and up-rising”.  You will become part of her “game”, and she, part of yours.  A personal, intimate and unspoken dialog will develop between  you and Diane.

Preaching regularly , to the same congregation  is like making love , regularly , to the same person .  It’s much more fulfilling than the fabled “one – Sunday  stand”.

But that’s just the first “reward”

When you “show up” , you place yourself in the long line of those who“show up in this church ever since 1758.     Your presence honors their vision;   your attendance affirms  the value of what they struggled to achieve.   It helps to put  contemporary struggles in perspective.

For instance,  put  the  struggle  over the issue of “welcoming congregation” in context of other , earlier struggles  in which this congregation was engaged.

 Just think of the struggle the folks must have had after the first shots were fired at Lexington and Concord.  Those who sat here were probably a mix of  Whigs and Tories.  How did they settle their personal difference?

In the 1830 how did they decide to become Unitarian in their theology ? Not without struggle !

In  the 1850s they must have argued the merits of William Lloyd Garrison and the Abolitionists

In 1915 when war raged in Europe they debated whether or not to enter the fray.

In the 1960s, imagine the conversations around  the Civil Rights Movement.

Echoes of those conversations fill  this room.  When you enter here  on a Sunday morning you take your place among those others who have “shown up” for 250 years,   joining the collective spirit that makes this holy house holy .

And something else:

Some years ago I remember attending rallies of the United Farm Workers who were striking for better working conditions led by Caesar Chavez.  A regular feature of those meetings was a reading of the names of those who had died, often murdered during the darkest days of  protest.

After each name was read there would  be a pause and then the assembly, all together would say “Presente !”   Invoking the on-going commitment of the dead to inspire the living.    You could feel the presence of those gone before;  their courage , their commitment , their strength  being lent to the living.  Presente, presente, presente.

Gift Number 2:  Pay Attention

Congregations change.  This congregation has changed.  Over the past months I have watched you change in your attitudes , not only with regard to the “welcoming congregation” issue, but  becoming more relaxed in your  inter-actions with each other and with me.

I know that churches give the impression  of being  change-less;  the embodiment of  timeless- values.  And while this can be comforting , it can be profoundly misleading,   even threatening.

But to those who “pay attention” change marks the direcion of congregations that are alive and relevant.

A church’s relevancy  has a lot to do with how it relates to the  outside society in which change is the order of the day.

Churches live;  they grow in excitement and enthusiasm,  when they “pay attention” to the issues of the day;  rise up and speak to those issues with passion and commitment. 

If I were asked to identify one instance during my year-long ministry with you when this church was truly “alive”  I would unhesitatingly say it was when you paid attention to the terrible destruction wsrought by the hurricane Katrina on New Orleans;  when your “attention”  moved you to get on planes, fly to that beleaguered city and work for its renewal and restitution.

When congregations “pay attention”,  outsiders begin to “pay attention “ to congregations.    Enthusiasm  is infectious.     People get excited when they see how excited other people  can become.   When they see a congregation “pitching in”, they want to “pitch in “ too.  New life, , new direction and  new purpose take hold and new chapters in an old church’s story get written.

Gift Number 3:   Tell the Truth  

There is One  phrase that makes its way into almost every  Service of  Ordination or  Installation.   During the Charge to the Minister or the Charge to the Congregation of both  you will hear both the minister and the congregation being challenged to “ speak the  truth”.   

Those three words will be followed by the words, “ in love”.   And they should be.   To merely  “speak the truth” can be a vicious act;  a merciless, uncaring blow  capable of  sending a person to his or her knees , searching desperately for any shred of protection  and defense

But even when the  truth is told “in love”, the truth can still hurt.

One of the most difficult responsibilities of  any  ministerial  search committee , once it  have made it’s  decision  and selected the candidate for  it’s  church’s minister, is to then  inform the other candidates that they were not chosen.

The bubbling joy that greets the call informing  the candidate that she or he has been selected ,  evaporates when the three or four  other potential candidates are informed that they have been rejected.  You can  hear the tone of  happy expectation turn, suddenly to a polite disappointment – and a desire to get off the phone as fast as possible.

The truth – even told in love – can hurt,  often  does hurt.   But lies,  dissembling,  hypocrisy  are nothing but  destructive  and the truest of truths  is  still that “the truth will set you free”.  

Diane will tell you the truth – in love;  and I trust that you will respond in kind.  By so doing, the community is strengthened,  the  past is honored and the future is assured.

The Final gift for Diane:  Letting Go

What do you , the congregation of this church  have to “let go “ of ?  What old  impressions, old recollections stand in the way of  a new relationship with your in-coming minister.  What do you have packed away that  could sour that  new relationship?

Let me tell you a true story.

At least some of you know that I was fired from  my ministry to the First Church in San Francisco.  Oh, we don’t call it “firing”.  We usually call it was “a negotiated resignation”, but  it means “firing”, being “let go”.

And I was angry  about it.  Even though I  was able to land a brief 6-months ministry in Southern California which was restorative and healing for me and I was able to get back into the Pulpit Search process in less than a year.

The call came from the First Church in Belmont .  I accepted the Search Committee’s invitation.  Dates for Candidating Week were set  and I  arrived to  follow essentially the same format that you engaged in last week with Diane Miller.   It was even about the same time of year.  The only difference was that my first Sunday in the Belmont pulpit was “Mother’s Day”.

The day dawned,  the church was crowded,  the Associate Minister ( a young and wonderfully capable woman) was with me in the  pulpit area;  the service went  forward along  traditional lines, all seemed tobe going well.  I stood up to preach.

I started my sermon by announcing that “ This is Mother’s Day”.  I continued by saying, “That is  the last word you’re going to hear from me about Mothers Day.  If you want a Mother’s Day sermon then I think you really ought to leave this church and go up the street to another church where I’m sure you can find a nice Mothers Day sermon to your liking !!!”

Silence;   looks were exchanged;   Later the Associate Minister confessed to thinking ,” This guy has a death wish !!”

The fact that I was able to recover from such a beginning to be “called “by Belmont and to serve that congregation for eight years very happy and productive years   says a lot for those people.

I tell you this story as an example of  the minister who had not “let go” of his anger;  who had packed in his bag,   carried it  from the west coast to the east and put it on display for a congregation  that had nothing to do with its origin;  was  totally mystified by its  eruption  yet  was forgiving enough to  look beyond it , provide welcome, support and deep affection.

It took me months of reflection to locate the source of that angry outburst.  Finally I was able to let  it go.

What are you hanging on to that you need to release,  let go of ,  and turn away from? What  anger;   disappointment;   dissatisfaction, let down,  still holds you in its  unforgiving grip?   Let it go  my friends,  let it go.

And welcome Diane by showing up, paying attention and  telling the truth.

Remember, ours is a religious vision that ,“reveres the past, but trusts the dawning future more”. 

So it is and so it yet shall be.   Amen